Suggestions

You have no idea how much I hate wondering if you think about me as much as I think about you

Knowing what you can do to me, knowing the power that you have over my heartbeat is infuriating beyond measure

The thought of something such as you coexisting in the present with me is an evil enigma

A black void, a rip in space where my eyes, my thoughts have no choice but to divert to

But I know I can never fully get to close to you without being drawn in further 

But my interest is peaked and it was peaked the very first time I seen your smile

I knew you were the most beautiful evil I have ever seen

So I ask, if anybody is out there listening to the ramblings of a poet, perusing through the vastness of consciousness that is the internet 

What do I do? I am willing to take suggestions

Inner Child Revisited

They say when it rains God’s saving a soul

And not worry about things beyond your control

Can’t control the weather, can’t make it better

Can’t make you love me, reason why I’m so untrusting

My heart beats slow, but my soul is comatose

Because I’m loved by everybody but the ones who matter the most

If you hate me, then why did you make me

Shame you can’t even smile at your first baby

Inherited your features and your cold disposition

Because the world put a tender, young boy in this position

Bullied as a youth, but inside of a bullet lies truth

Because I had thoughts on killing everybody including you

Including myself, no one saw I needed help

Because I was so good at disguising the pain that I felt

Baby boy neglected with a lifestyle hectic

Heart full of hurt mind full of rejection

Inner Child raised in a city that made him wild

Where insanity ran rampant and murderers were established

Trying to curb this habit of hatred

But instilled the day the person that made him, left him forsaken

Left him patiently waiting for a day that never came

So that day love was lost, never to be found again

But I’ll take the blame, I was born simple and plain

It was my fault that he left and after that my fault that i changed

It was my fault the world didn’t quite look at me the same

It was my fault that I harbored so much hatred in my brain

It was my fault that I held on to such strong hostility

But this inner child matured with the ability to take full responsibility 

An Endearing Touch

penofthegoldenchild:

With your skin in my fingertips 
I feel the pulse of Heaven
And it is made real again
You are my faith
You complete me